Merry Unnecessary Sequel, Charlie Brown!

I’m all for progress. With the exception of cultural landmarks, I’m all in favor of clearing away the old to make way for the new. At least I thought I was until last Monday night. As a Christmas person (yep, one of those) I live for the annual broadcast of those tried and true holiday specials that we grew up with: The Grinch, Frosty, The Little Drummer Boy, Nestor The Christmas Donkey. I love them all. There are, however, two of these juvenile epics I cannot miss: A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. So imagine my shock as I sat down in front of Hulu to watch the gentle tale of the round headed boy, the little tree and idiosyncratic dancing when instead I got something called I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown.

A sequel. They made a freaking sequel?
Now as sequels go this one wasn’t bad. ..It sucked out loud. Snoopy’s out-of-town brothers Andy, Marbles, Olaf and Spike? Spike? Linus’s little brother Rerun? Rerun? In the words of our hero,
ARG!
I can hear you gentle reader,
Dude, chill. It’s only a cartoon.
To which I reply,
Up yours! This is Christmas television we’re talking about.
It’s really very simple. There is one and only one acceptable Peanuts Christmas special and it was made in 1965. Any impostor specials are unnecessary, sick and wrong.
I’ll spare you an equally heartfelt tirade on Rudolph’s Shiny New Year. Suffice it to say I didn’t much care for it. The only Rudolph sequel I want to see is the one where Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf declare their undying love for one another and open a bed and breakfast on The Island of Misfit Toys employing Bumble the Yeti as a pool boy and all around gofer. I knew that something was up with that elf the minute I laid eyes on him at age six. Maybe it was the hair.
I hear that they've made a sequel to .
A Christmas Story
Where’s my gun?