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Big Gay Groundhog Does It Again

This morning Punxsutawney Phil, the ugly groundhog upon which a nation of idiots places its springtime hopes and fears, saw his shadow. Six more weeks of unseasonably warm winter, goshdarnit.
Related: Last year, conservatives questioned Phil’s sexuality, arguing that he had lived alone for so long that he was some sort of gay icon. Unfortunately, this year brings more evidence to the case that Phil’s on TeamAiken:

Gobbler’s Knob? Our gayest gay bars aren’t even that graphic.

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